Apology to My Readers

I feel like the terrorist who exploded the Deep-water Horizon rig, trying to reconcile the importance of what I did with the collateral damage I caused

I know that my readers count on me every day to tackle sensitive and controversial topics.  I believe that there is a level of trust that I’ve created with my readers that I will approach these topics carefully and sensitively and that trust is very important to me.  Last Friday, I breached that trust—I want to formally apologize to all the readers who were offended by my post on the mugging in front of Wheeler Hall.  I know in my heart that the mugging was an issue I wanted to report on because I wanted everyone to understand how crazy and random and evil crime can be, but I should have waited for the dust to settle before I talked about something so personal to so many people.  If it means that I have lost some readers indefinitely, fine.  I can live with that.   But I can’t live with all these rumors going around that I was being selfish, that I wanted to “break the story” or drive traffic to my blog by reporting on the mugging so soon.  These rumors are unfounded.  I just wanted the people I most cared about to see what was going on in my life and the lives of those who live around me.

Know that I’m not proud of what I did.

In a tribute to those offended by the article, I will include below some of the numerous emails I received in response to the post on the mugging (for the privacy of the authors I will not include names because I am a blogger who blogs with integrity, and I want my readers to know that).

“Not cool.  Not cool man.  A Wash U student almost died yesterday and u r using it to drive traffic to ur shitty blog?  You think that’s cool you little f***?  I would have liked to see u there that night, in front of wheeler.  Lets see what u would have done?”

“As a resident of St. Charles, this post didn’t surprise me.  Most people from around here know that it can be very dangerous in front of Wheeler hall at any time of day.  I wouldn’t step foot in St. Louis City if you pointed a gun to my head.”

I also received an email from the Class of 2013 about the post.  Here’s an excerpt:

“…sustainability.  You ought to devote at least a section on your sidebar to help readers locate single stream recycling on campus.  Washington University will be starting an initiative to offset the carbon pollution caused by your blog with a small monthly donation to Stop Global Warming in America (an organization devoted to reducing carbon pollution in order to end global warming in the U.S.).  We recommend that you supplement this donation, in order to account for the costs that your blog imposes on society at large.  While we fully respect the importance of the First Amendment—both to the history of our fair land and to our contemporary culture—we believe it does not apply in your case.  Your blog seems to be mishmash of meaningless essays, stupid updates on cultural phenomenons, questionable advice on your ‘sense of style,’ and boring strings of non-sequiturs about your life.”

In closing I want to apologize again, but also ask my readers a question.  What if every blogger sat back and considered what people would think about their posts before they wrote them?  Would we still have people writing about how much Madden ’11 sucked?  Would people be willing to take a stand on abortion?  Would we be where we are today?  I realize that I have made mistakes in the past, but I want people to know that I have never tried to hide from controversy.  I have never hid behind anonymity or vague statements.  I want to be part of the social discourse going on at this university, and the only way that I know how to do that is to tell it like it is.  To that end I also want to announce that I will continue my blog.  I thought a lot about stopping.  Getting famous, even if I’m just locally famous at this university, isn’t as fun as you think it is.  Sometimes I just want to go back in time to when I could skip accounting and chill in the weight room or go to the Sig Ep bathroom when I felt sick, and not have to worry about journalists from Student Life or WUPR shoving microphones in my face and yelling out questions.

I have decided, however, to defer my personal desire for a return to anonymity and continue to write this blog because it’s too important to the cultural fabric of Wash U to give up.  Not everyone is going to like this decision, but it’s not something that I will change my mind about, no matter how many emails you guys send me.


~ by killerbuffalo on October 8, 2010.

One Response to “Apology to My Readers”

  1. This is a joke, right? You’re not actually apologizing. God help us if you are.

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